Shocking New Study of Teenage Girls & Who Are the Loneliest Americans?
December 30, 2025
What I’m Discussing Today:
Kareem’s Daily Quote: The Doors end the year with an apropriate quote about endings.
Thousands Of Teenage Girls Took Part In A New Study. What They Revealed Should Terrify You: When I look at the direction we’re heading, things are only going to get worse for girls. I just can’t figure out why we seem to be okay with that.
Who are the loneliest Americans? See what a new survey revealed: It’s not who you think.
Brain Study Reveals Adolescence Lasts Until Shockingly Late in Life: This explains a lot.
Video Break: The opening scene at the airport in Love Actually is the perfect way to start a new year.
Bonus Video Break: A boy. His dog. A reunion. The best.
What I’m Watching: Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery is the most riveting and enjoyable movie I’ve seen in months, including at the theater.
What I’m Reading: Haven’t Killed in Years is a highly entertaining mystery about the daughter of a serial killer who is being stalked. Suspenseful and witty.
Magical Moments in Sports: Every athlete knows the frustration of giving up on a point too soon.
James Taylor Sings “Long Ago and Far Away”: Taylor performs one of his most beautiful songs before he even had a title for it.
This final newsletter of the year is purposely Trump-free. Enjoy today’s articles, reviews, and musings without fear of outrage. And have a wonderful New Year.
Kareem’s Daily Quote
This is the end, my beautiful friend.
from “The End” by The Doors
The ending of the 1976 movie Robin and Marian is about endings. Robin Hood (Sean Connery) and Lady Marian (Audrey Hepburn) are much older now. After a long absence in which Robin fought in the Crusades and Marian joined a nunnery, they are reunited and once again must fight the evil Sheriff of Nottingham (Robert Shaw). After a long, exhausting, awkward battle between two old warriors, Robin finally triumphs. He and Marian retire to her place to celebrate his victory. Robin is giddy and boisterous while Marian is pleased but reserved. They toast his great win, only for Robin to realize, as he begins to stagger, that Marian has poisoned both of them. She explains that this day was the greatest day of his life. He defeated his nemesis and made love with his beloved. No day will ever equal it again. This is the appropriate end for both of them. After violent anger at her betrayal, he comes to agree with her. He fires one last arrow out the window to mark where they will be buried together. The hug each other. The end.
When I first saw the movie, I was 29 and deeply offended by the ending. In my youthful world, I had a very narrow idea of endings. To me, endings always led to something better. There was still an endless supply of good things waiting for me. More NBA championships, more TV and movie opportunities, new friendships, new experiences. Even romantic relationships.
Now that I’m 78, I have a different understanding of things ending. Endings are much more frightening. Careers, lives, relationships. The number of my friends who have died in recent years staggers me the way Marian’s poison staggered Robin. Senior life can seem like we’ve been poisoned, our bodies no longer under our control, the mind fuzzing over.
Endings are no longer hopeful opportunities—they’re just endings.
Yet, like Robin and Marion, I’ve come to grips with this new reality. My eyes aren’t distracted by the sun rising on the horizon, I’m focused clearly on today. Today I will get up, read the New York Times, read a few chapters of a book, write, watch a TV show I like, read more news, visit a friend or family member, ignore a couple offers to do something I don’t want to do.
I mourn some endings. I celebrate others. I fight against the endings of some things I love—like democracy, social justice, compassion. Me and endings get along just fine now. In fact, it’s the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
A Portrait of Americans
Thousands Of Teenage Girls Took Part In A New Study. What They Revealed Should Terrify You. (HuffPost)
NOTE: Lisa Hinkelman, Ph.D., is a nationally recognized researcher, speaker and author who has spent nearly 20 years researching girls and educating adults. Below is her study.
SUMMARY: My most recent research study, which included more than 17,000 fifth-grade through 12th-grade girls in The Girls’ Index, reveals a troubling trend: 67% of the participants reported that they don’t say what they’re thinking or disagree with others because they want to be liked. Let that sink in for a moment. Two-thirds of girls are silencing themselves to be accepted. As someone who was often labeled as opinionated or bossy, I understand the pressure to conform, to be quieter, to take up less space. But I can’t help but wonder: What are we losing when our girls are silenced?
Other findings from our survey are just as stark and, frankly, terrifying. Since 2017, the percentage of girls reporting confidence has declined from 68% to just 55%. A staggering 53% of girls report feeling persistently sad or hopeless. As one seventh-grade girl told us, “Girls my age don’t feel happy the way we are. We want to be someone else.” Reading this, I feel a painful twinge of recognition—like I’m hearing my younger self speak.
We also discovered that two-thirds of girls reported that their body image negatively impacts their confidence. Two-thirds! And nearly 60% of high school girls said they don’t believe they’re smart enough for their dream jobs.
MY TAKE: A lot has been written this past year about the challenges faced by boys and young men in America. It’s all true: young males are facing so much insecurity in their lives, let alone about their future. Yes, our culture does convey privileges on males that females don’t get. The problem they face at such a young age happens when they realize they are favored in our society, yet it doesn’t feel like it to them. Then they either have to deny they are favored, or they have to justify their privilege as deserved. That manifests itself in anti-DEI rhetoric: claiming superiority through religious or faux-biological posturing. Look at the sad role models of manhood that are out there in the news every day: flexing, bullying, openly insulting women, accused and convicted sexual predators doing everything they can to cancel women’s rights, silence their voices, and reduce their power. No wonder our boys struggle to grow up with moral values that reflect the principles in our Constitution.
There is a third option that some men embrace: Acknowledge their preferred status, but fight against it to create an even playing field. That would be my idea of Real Men.
Nothing in this massive study surprises me. And that in itself is sad. Our society is not structured to support women but to punish them. Don’t bother pointing to the statistics about the increasing numbers of women attending college or having corporate jobs or who are in politics. That’s important, sure, but it always comes with a societal gut-punch.
As long as women are judged first on their appearance and “sexiness,” they will always be considered inferior. As longs as women continue to get Botox or plastic surgery to appear younger or more voluptuous, they will be treated as inferior because, in part, these things are an admission that appearance in a woman is more important than it is in a man. High heels to appear taller and flex the legs, low-cut tops, false eyelashes, hair extensions and wigs all tell men that women are vain and frivolous. Yes, you can say it’s fun to dress up and do things to “enhance” your looks, but you haven’t been paying attention to the cost to your power and dignity this cultural brainwashing brings. There are plenty of excuses to embrace this status quo, especially if you’re young and attractive by society’s narrow standards. It feels like you’re getting more than you’re giving up. But that’s not true. You’ve sold young girls—and your older self—down the river.
Look at the results of the study and ask yourself how we’re still here. During the Women’s Liberation Movement of the sixties, I envisioned a future of women having equal opportunities with men, of the insane beauty standards being something we all laughed at, like girdles or foot-binding. But then, I thought the same thing about the Civil Rights Movement. And here we are. It’s not good enough. Not for any girl or woman. We can’t just shrug it off anymore and make excuses.
Who are the loneliest Americans? See what a new survey revealed. (USA Today)
SUMMARY: …According to a newly released survey from AARP, adults aged 45 and older are lonelier than ever. The association surveyed around 3,300 Americans in August and found that 40% reported feeling lonely, a five-percentage-point increase from the last time the survey was conducted in 2018, and the first time the survey was conducted, in 2010.
Still, AARP suggests the “challenge” of loneliness is something that can be addressed by taking small steps to overcome it.
MY TAKE: It’s hard to believe that in this age of social media, Zoom, and social apps to connect like-minded people, Americans are even lonelier than they were seven years ago. Here are some of the survey’s findings:
…[M]en are more likely to experience loneliness than women. While past surveys found that men and women were more even in loneliness, the difference between the two groups rose this year. For men, 42% of respondents reported feeling lonely, compared to 37% of female respondents reporting the same thing.
Those closest in age to 45 also tend to feel lonelier compared to those who are older, indicating that loneliness can decrease with age. While 49% of adults ages 45 to 49 reported feeling lonely, that percentage dips to 45 for those in their 50s and continues to drop in responses from those increasingly older.
…[F]inances also play a role in adult loneliness, with 63% of adults with annual incomes of less than $25,000 reporting feeling lonely. Those experiencing unemployment also see higher levels of loneliness, with 34% of retirees and 40% of working adults reportedly feeling lonely, compared 57% of unemployed adults reporting feeling isolated.
Forty-five percent of adults with a high school education or less are lonely, compared with 39% of those with some college education and 34% of those with a college degree or higher.
There are some obvious reasons for loneliness: social circles get smaller while physical and mental health issues make it harder to make new friends. Also, Amazon, DoorDash, and Netflix have allowed us to wall ourselves in, never having to venture out among the People. But that doesn’t fully explain the significant increase in people describing themselves as lonely. There are still plenty of ways to engage with one’s community through volunteering or attending a church or community center.
One of the reasons people allow themselves to live with loneliness is that they believe they deserve it. Not as a punishment for a misspent life, but because they have low self-esteem and high disillusionment. Adults between 45 and 49 are in that range when they realize life didn’t turn out exactly as they planned and never will. Or it did turn out as they planned, but it’s not as satisfying as they’d hoped. They feel like secret failures. There’s an adjustment period as people learn to appreciate what they’ve got—which is why those who are older are less lonely than they are.
Everyone already knows how to address loneliness. Make the effort to interact with people. Go to the mall or Target on occasion, even if you can get it on Amazon. Go to the movies, even if it will be on Netflix in three months. Make dinner dates with people you meet. Join in activities through your local community center. Call your kids—not to give them advice, but to listen. Text friends. Start a Wordle text group. Play chess online.
Reading the Comments section of this Substack makes me feel like I’m part of a community, and that makes me feel connected. Try it.
Brain Study Reveals Adolescence Lasts Until Shockingly Late in Life (Daily Beast)
SUMMARY: A new study has found that adolescence doesn’t just last through our teens and early twenties, but in fact continues into our early thirties. Researchers at the University of Cambridge studied the brain scans of 4,000 people and discovered the brain goes through five distinct phases in life: childhood from birth to age 9, adolescence from age 9 to 32, adulthood from age 32 to 66, early aging from 66 to 83, and late aging from 83 onwards. During the adolescent phase, the brain’s connections undergo the biggest shift, becoming far more efficient but also more susceptible to the onset of mental health disorders. The brain then “peaks” at about age 32 and enters a period of stability—adulthood—that represents its longest era. During adulthood, intelligence and personality plateau, until connections in the brain begin changing again around age 66. At that point, the brain’s individual organs become increasingly separated into regions that work closely together, instead of coordinating across the whole brain.
MY TAKE: Between the ages of 9 and 32, the brain is in its most unstable period. This is the period when there’s the greatest risk of beginning mental health disorders. The adolescent brain is more prone to impulse and not understanding the consequences of actions. Most studies conclude that this impulsiveness ends in the early twenties.
The conventional wisdom was that kids may have mental health issues but that they will grow out of them in their twenties. And that other mental issues would appear in one’s sixties and up as a result of deterioration. But this startling study should make us more aware of possible dangers and encourage us to seek treatment early.
Video Break
I will end this year with a rerun of one of my favorite videos, the opening scene of Love Actually, one of the best Christmas movies ever made. The movie was being released so soon after 9/11 that producers added the introduction for fear that people wouldn’t be in the mood for a romantic comedy. In fact, we needed it more than ever. This one-minute video sums up a lot of how I see life, which is why every time I watch it, I feel touched and inspired.
Bonus Video
Watch it and feel the love between the boy and his dog. It will rub off on you.
What I’m Watching
Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery
This third installment of the Knives Out franchise is not only the best of the three, it’s also the best mystery movie I’ve seen in a long time. Daniel Craig returns as the private detective trying to help a priest who’s been falsely accused of murder. The locked-room mystery element is fun, but this movie does a great job of balancing faith and skepticism. It also has one of the best, most touching scenes I’ve seen recently. The dialogue is sharp, it’s witty, it’s suspenseful, and it’s overflowing with great performances from Josh Brolin. Glenn Close, and especially Josh O’Connor. (Grade: A+)
What I’m Reading
Haven’t Killed in Years by Amy K. Green
Gwen has been living undercover since she was nine years old and her serial killer parents were arrested. She leads a quiet life with few friends and a corporate job. Now someone is leaving severed limbs on her doorstep with a note addressing her by her real name. This mystery novel is amusing and suspenseful. She’s a likable and compelling character with a sharp wit. Every time I had to put the novel down, I couldn’t wait to get back to it. Superbly entertaining. (Grade: A)
Magical Moments in Sports
As Yogi Berra famously observed, “It ain’t over till it’s over.” Yet, so many athletes—myself included—have let down their guard prematurely, only to have that cockiness punished. Play this video every time you’re about to compete.
Jukebox Playlist
James Taylor: “Long Ago and Far Away” (1970)
This song appears on Taylor’s album Mud Slide Slim with Joni Mitchell singing background and Carole King on the piano. But I chose this video because it is just Taylor and his guitar singing this sad song of disillusionment.
I also like that this was taped before he even had a title for the song. It’s still new and the rawness and melancholy permeates every word. What adds more power to this is that Taylor is only 22 here and internationally famous, but already wrestling with how dreams that come true aren’t always as satisfying as they are in fantasy. Coming to grips with that is the bridge from adolescence to adulthood—no matter what age that occurs.
Thank you for being one of the few men I know of who actually recognizes and honors this statement: “As long as women are judged first on their appearance and ‘sexiness,’ they will always be considered inferior.”
Happy New Year, Kareem and fellow commenters! I’m spending my NYE at the Spurs/Knicks game. Hope all y’all will be doing something enjoyable with your loved ones.
Kareem, your choices for this "take" just before the turning of the year are precious, affecting, and tear-provoking. I'm confident that everyone reading here has been in that airport scene (or its equivalent with a beloved climbing down the stairs of a bus or waving madly as the train screeches to a halt). My most searing one took place at the Hobart, Tasmania, airport, two days after Australia lifted its two-year ban on foreign travelers in February 2022. We emerged from Customs and there were my daughter, son-in-law, and twelve-year-old twin grandsons running, racing, nearly knocking over others waiting for their beloveds, as fast as they could, all of us in tears because for the two years prior we spent many a night fighting the despair that we might never see one another again. And then I think of all those who've been snatched from their loved ones in the past 11 months due to a different virus, a most malevolent, vicious, and cruel one. Ending your missive with James Taylor's words "to love to love to love..." Why else are we here? Thank you for every issue, all the humor and insights, and please let this community know when we can see you in person, say, for example, at a Warriors game. Not that I'm a fan or anything, even if they keep throwing the ball away...